Sunday, October 20, 2013

Write a Love Letter

Many years ago, during my life coach training at YOU University online, I learned a very effective and healing tool.  Truthfully, I don't use it enough and to my own detriment.  It's writing a Love Letter.
Maia Berens, creator of YOU University online and my coaching mentor, insisted during the whole training on the use of love letters to get in touch with my feelings.....those that I carry around unexpressed and that float around in my insides like an untreated virus.
I've experienced uncomfortable feelings the past few days towards someone I love very much but has crossed time and again what I believe are healthy boundaries.  Because of my difficulty in expressing uncomfortable feelings for fear of abandonment and confrontations, my old behavior is to keep these bottled in and then obsess continuously about them, taking my peace of mind with them.
This morning I remembered the love letter to process my anger towards this person and I immediately began writing them a love letter.
The feelings poured out:  anger, fear, sadness, hurt....and then responsibility (mine) for creating the situation because I allowed it; then understanding, forgiveness and love!
What was magical to me about the whole process was how I became aware of my own part in the whole issue. How my old patterns of behavior, fears, guilt, wanting to feel needed and important, have played a huge part in hindering my relationship with this person.  How I need to learn and practice saying NO, a "NO" that comes from love, instead of a YES that is tainted with fear that then transforms into resentment and anger.   
I feel much better now because I expressed my feelings on paper.  The purpose of the love letter is for me, for going within and bringing to my awareness what is really going on inside of me and what I need to work on and heal.
If you want to know more about love letters from Maia herself, click on this link  for the step by step process.