I used to swallow my feelings, I didn't trust them or honor them, and because of self-doubt I would push them down. I labeled my feelings as worthy or not. I even compared myself to what I thought I saw others feelings. What an illusion.
Today, I chose another route. I now know that whatever is happening outside of me is coming from within me. I am perceiving it a certain way from the basis of my belief system, and if it creates conflict, that conflict is inside of me.
An uncomfortable situation arose with someone I love deeply. While I was in the moment, I felt hurt, angry, frustrated and wanted to lash out at them. Instead, I chose to stay put, yet allowing myself to let them know that I was not ok with what was happening.
After the incident, many ego thoughts came rushing through my mind, like an avalanche of rocks and mud. I observed these and understood they were coming up from old patterns of thought based on fear and I needed to address them. I chose not to act upon them by running away, or coming from a place of judgment and separation.
I allowed the thoughts, I allowed the feelings. I asked my Higher Self to guide me, and decided to come from a place of Love that resides within me (which does not mean I let the incident go or shoved down my feelings). This was an opportunity for me to express my feelings in a loving way, yet express them. It was an opportunity to join with my loved one and look at the incident together. And we did.
We chose to connect from that loving, honest place we all have and voice our feelings with the intention to join and not separate. We are now closer and more aware because of it. Thank you to my Higher Self.