Thursday, March 28, 2019

Writing a Love Letter


One of the most important, useful and practical healing tools I’ve learned in YOU University Coaching is the Love Letter.

Using love letters has been extremely helpful for me to get in touch with my feelings.....those that I carry around unexpressed and that float around in my insides like an untreated virus.

I've experienced uncomfortable feelings the past few days towards someone I love very much but has crossed time and again my healthy boundaries.  Because of my difficulty in expressing uncomfortable feelings for fear of abandonment and confrontations, my old behavior has been to keep these bottled in and then obsess continuously about them, losing peace of mind.

This morning I did a love letter to process my anger towards this person.  The feelings poured out:  anger, fear, sadness, hurt....and then responsibility (mine) for creating the situation because I allowed it; then understanding, forgiveness and love!

What was magical to me about the whole process was how I became aware of my own part in the whole issue. How my old patterns of behavior, fears, guilt, wanting to feel needed and important, played a huge part in hindering my relationship with this person.  It became clear to me that I need to learn to and practice saying NO, a "NO" that comes from love, instead of a YES that is tainted with fear that then transforms into resentment and anger.    

I feel much better now because I released my feelings on paper.  The purpose of the love letter is for my own benefit, to go within and become aware of what is really going on inside me and what I need to work on and heal.

Feel free to contact me if you're interested in learning about love letters.

Sunday, March 24, 2019

Taking 100% Responsibility

I have resisted taking 100% responsibility for my life experience, since it's easier to feel like a victim of circumstances and people.  This allows me to complain, to judge, to point the finger, to whine and to even defend myself.  But all of these are tricks of the ego mind to keep me precisely in a victim stance, believing I am weak and in remaining in fear.

Taking responsibility for what I experience means I choose to question my thoughts, my beliefs and see that being a victim is not that much fun and just keeps me stuck where I'm at.  And I don't want that anymore.

As I continue to study and practice A Course in Miracles principles, they become clearer, not just at an intellectual level....saying "oh yes, I get it" and repeating them, yet continuing to live in fear, lack, and at the effect of life.  The Course reminds me over and over that how I experience circumstances and people is a result of the projections of my own mind.  I am cause, not effect.  It has taken me a long time to accept this. 

I love a central theme in the course:  "My Mind Holds Only What I think with God".  I re-read it a few weeks ago and it remains very fresh in my awareness now, reminding me consistently to look at my thoughts and see if I'm thinking God thoughts or ego thoughts.  Am I peaceful, loving, joyful, secure, present in the moment, seeing beyond the illusions, or am I defensive, stressed, rushed, anxious, judging, irritated?  Well, you get the picture, right?  When I get lost in my thoughts, I remember this phrase, and sometimes I even laugh a bit, realizing how subtle and easy I fall back into fearful thoughts.  And right there, I choose again.

I am completely committed to waking up from this illusory experience of the world.  I choose God as I take responsibility for what I experience, holding the truth of what I am in my awareness moment to moment.     

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

I Step Back in Faith

Since the month of December, 2018, I have been working with a realtor in the Dominican Republic to sell a property in that country.  To say the least, it's been quite challenging.

Because I live in the USA, I was required to hire a lawyer there to represent me through the whole process, collecting all the necessary paperwork.  The Power of Attorney prepared was repeatedly declined by the title offices there.  Each time we deposited the document with the added info, they still ask for more proof of identity, which meant more money and delay.  Finally, by the end of January, we resolved and deposited all documentation at the bank processing the loan for the buyer. 

It's almost the middle of March and I am still waiting.  Waiting for the bank to finalize all legal processing of the loan so I can travel there and sign.  I have felt frustration, I've complained, inquired when everything will be finalized, with no real response, that I finally decided to let go and trust the process.  I have asked God to bless the whole thing.  And I continue waiting. 

This morning, as soon as I woke up,I was entertaining ego thoughts about the situation, planning to contact the realtor with some sarcastic comment if this will happen at all or some time this year.  But I understood that doing this would mean I was not trusting God and was taking back control of the situation. 

I decided to choose peace, step back in faith and trust God with the whole process and timing.  It will happen at the perfect time.