Wednesday, December 3, 2014

If I Could Spend Some Time Having a Conversation with my Mom....

I would say to her:

Mommy, I sometimes see you in my dreams, and you look happy, younger, and we actually get along and have fun together.

I know you did your best to be a good mother to me.  I didn't feel very loved by you, but you probably didn't love yourself very much either.  I'm so sorry I never understood you. I'm sorry we never got along and were never able to enjoy a connection.  I needed you as a mom, but it felt like you were just never there for me.

I truly am sorry for my impatience with you and for all my judgments and criticism.  I'm sorry for all the fights we had, consistently throughout the years.

Now I understand how much you gave up when you left your family and country to come to the U.S. with my dad.  How lonely and confusing it was for you in this foreign land.  Please let me say that I appreciate you sewing my clothes with so much love, taking care of me making sure I ate my meals and was safe and protected.

I appreciate and admire all the creative talents you had that were never seen by the rest of the world, how you made lamps and sewed our bed and cushion covers to decorate our home.  You were a great cook....I remember those cakes you would make and the baked chicken.  Quite delicious.

Thank you for taking care of me in the way you knew how.  Thank you for taking me shopping with you to Alexander's and Gimbel's and Macy's when I was a little girl.

I never really said this to you before, but I can say it now....I love you.  I know you're doing just great wherever your soul is in Eternity.  

Monday, October 13, 2014

It's OK!!!

Everyone at one time or another needs either a life coach, a counselor, a therapist, or a really good, non-judgmental, open-minded friend to open your heart to.

I am a life coach, a very good/empathetic listener; I'm also an ordained minister/counselor.  I love that I have done this work and can help others on their journey.

But when push comes to shove, and as much or as little as I think I know about life, I too need someone to talk with and share what's going on inside of me, just like most other people.

Sometimes, I just want to have a pity party, complain, and get whatever is bothering me off my chest.
There are times I need wise feedback regarding a perceived issue I'm experiencing.

And yet there are other instances where self-doubt creeps in and I need that extra support to be able to trust my inner voice.

I'm there, right now.  Doubting myself.  Confused.

I'm having strong feelings about a very important aspect of my life.  I am at a stage where time is of the essence because I want to invest myself in what is meaningful to me....not what the world thinks is meaningful or successful-looking.  That's what I've done all my life.  I feel this is my time.

So, I'm just sharing this here on my blog because I'm sure others are experiencing similar feelings. It's ok to feel confused and to share your doubts with a trustworthy person.  It's ok.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

I Am Provided For

Sometimes I get confused reading so much everywhere about The Law of Attraction, affirmations, how to become rich, etc., etc., etc.
I wonder....what really is true?  Probably there's some truth to all of it.  To find an answer that resonates with me, that feels true to my soul, I have to go within and ask myself...what has been my experience with what I call God and provision?  How about with the Law of Attraction? 
I have to ask myself....what does becoming or being "rich" really mean to me?  Why have I never had this fervor of pursuing to make a lot of money? Some people tell me....."you have to dream BIG".....
Could it be that deep within I don't feel worthy?  Do I feel incapable? some extent. go back to the answer I mentioned above...the one I find within.

Well, my experience, very personal and particular, is that God HAS and DOES provide for me. 
There have been times when I did apply the Law of Attraction, way before I even heard of it. 
For example.  Years ago, when I was searching to buy an apartment,  I took an index card and wrote on it the following specifications regarding the desired apartment:
  • 3 - 4 specific neighborhoods
  • certain characteristics of the structure (spacious, lots of windows and light coming in, privacy, good neighbors, good structure)
  • Other particulars:  close to my parents' home, public transportation/pharmacy, etc. at a reasonable distance)
  • Affordable:  at a price I could afford and have money left over to do some repairs/restructuring
Guess what?  95% of what I wrote on that card manifested.  I was awed.
I've practiced this in another instance in my life....with a job search in the past.  Same thing.

I find this is not a doesn't always happen my way.  Why?  I don't know.  This is a pending conversation I have with God.  But I do think that ultimately, God knows what's best for me, God sees the bigger picture, I don't.  My willingness (sometimes not so willingly) to ask God to guide me to my greatest good allows me to witness these "miracles" in my life.  It could be that my willingness to allow God to provide for me (and knowing I am loved matter what), dissipates the desire to make a lot of money.

A wise friend of mine once wrote:  is money what you really want? Or is it an experience of comfort, security, adventure, or beauty that money can offer you?

I choose the experience. 

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Lessons in Nature

This post is from a few years ago....but so worth sharing again.  The experience hasn't changed.

I take my power walks in a lovely park close to home.  I notice the trees and the rocks and the birds.  There's a lake right in the middle of the park, also.  It's beautiful to be able to enjoy so much, for free.   I love the exposure to nature.
Yesterday, I observed a little closer some of the trees that I passed as I walked .  First, I took notice of the path where I start my's like a greeting committee...of mango trees.

Just walking underneath them I felt as if I was surrounded, nurtured and greeted happily by these wonderful living beings.  I could almost sense them communicating with me.  
Walking on, I noticed one tree. It felt like it resembled me. Short, not tall.....with a chunky trunk and lots of flowers (to later turn into fruit) on its branches close to the ground. I like to think I'm like that.  My arms extended out, wanting to give to others what I've received. 
Guess what?  As I continued, I noticed another seemed to have been blown over by a storm, and most of its roots where outside the ground; yet, even though I thought it should be dead...there was life branching out of it...yes, there were flowers on its branches!!
I was amazed.  This particular tree reminded me of people we sometimes think are crippled or disabled, but even so, live full and productive to the world in their own unique way.
Funny, I walk this path almost every day....only yesterday did I take notice of all the lessons and stories Nature has to share with me. 
Thank you!!!

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Coaching with Love

To all life and spiritual coaches, and all healers and helpers, let our words always be gentle and loving with  our clients and the people in our lives, especially ourselves.

Through my Pathways of Light Ministerial training, I experienced how gentle, loving and fear-free the Pathways teachings are.....mostly based on the principles of A Course in Miracles.

I have been so enamored by the message of love and forgiveness in A Course in Miracles. It's continuous message is that we are guiltless and sinless. Its teachings have taken all the fear out of how my experience can be.  Each time I read the material, I sense God's love and acceptance of me and of all.  I practice these principles in my everyday life, in each of my relationships.  Whenever I feel I have failed by reacting from my old nature, I am reminded from within, by my Higher Self, that it's ok...I am loved and there is no judgment.  There is no fear!!!!

I remember when I was still going through my training, my facilitator saying to me that: A teacher should never say anything that will produce fear in their students.  Oh my God, yes.  I love A Course in Miracles because I'm not afraid of anything within its message.

Once something fearful is said, it raises our defenses, creating separation and the false belief of self-protection. There really is nothing to defend.  Let us remember this as we relate with our clients and to all of life and ourselves.  May our words be empowering, uplifting, honest, always focused on who we really are!!!


Thursday, August 7, 2014

Observing What's Going on in My Head

As an observer of my thoughts, attitudes and feelings, (a practice I took on much more actively in the past few months) I "see" or identify more and more my conditioning, judgments and negative assumptions.  So many in just one day.  In one hour.

I used to wonder why I was never in joy and feeling happy in the past.  I have discovered the reason.  What goes on in my head has been rampantly running my life, affecting my well-being and keeping me in a low-level vibration for years.

I was confirmed Monday of last week my last day at work..... in 30 days.  After that, I'm unemployed.  I have to say, I felt a bit shocked.  I walked out of the room feeling a bit numb, then as the hours and days progressed feelings of resentment, comparison with my other co-workers (who will stay until end of year) surfaced and that fact put my focus on my boss making him into the bad guy.  I observed how I was feeling resentful towards him and that it was his fault and he didn't try to keep me on.  Of course, then the ego began whispering that I'm not good enough.....etc., etc., etc.

I did allow myself to feel these feelings.....what has been different is observation.  Observing takes me from feeling a victim to being an empowered being.  Knowledge.  I'm beginning to perceive what is going on in my head and I can change it.  This is on-going, and takes awareness on my part.

To be continued.....

Monday, June 23, 2014


Last week I decided to reduce my ingestion of added sugar for this whole week, starting today, Monday.  That means, no sugar in my morning coffee, reduce the intake of foods that have added amounts of sugar (pizza, breads, SWEETS) to a minimum.

Every morning I wake up and prepare myself a cup of coffee with milk and I use 3 teaspoons of turbonated sugar (this is what we Latinos call cafe con leche). 

So, I bought organic Half & Half (just 1gram of sugar) and Splenda instead of sugar just for this week.  

I noticed as soon as I woke up that inner voice suggesting "Go ahead, you can have the sugar.  Aw come on, it's just 45 calories and it will taste way better than the Splenda.  I give you permission." 

I caught myself, I observed what was going on in my head instead of just giving in to this suggestion.  Having the sugar seemed like an insignificant thing to do, what the hell. But I understood that once again, giving in would feel like I was breaking an agreement I had already made with myself, and would open up the door to just continuing doing so.  I know how that feels.  It feels like I'm not that important to myself.  I don't do that with other people.  Yet, I easily do it with myself, all of the time.  In just little things....I don't exercise when I say I am.  I eat what I have beforehand decided not to. 

I chose to honor my commitment.  I intend to do so for the rest of the day, and for the rest of the week.  Sticking to this decision and agreement makes me feel grounded. I acknowledge myself and honor my choices and my self-care.  It's simple and yet profound.  For me, this is one small step in my practice of honoring Me. 

More about me:  Savina Cavallo, YOU University Life Coach, Radical Self Acceptance

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Why Did I Become a Life Coach?

Life coaching is a career that's become very popular in the last decade.  There are many schools now that offer training.  At one time, a few years ago, I myself was looking into this.  Why?  I felt I could be a really good coach!!
  • extensive life experience, professional experience, a natural mentor and motivator, and an interested listener.

You see, I had been coaching for many years, unofficially.  I'd coached my friends, my coworkers.  I'd mentored youth at community centers and counseled women in spiritual environments.

Yet, I also felt I needed a Life Coach myself.  I was going through some rough times then and was honest about needing help to unravel and clarify what I was going to do next with my life.

One night, about 7 years ago, I went on the internet searching for coaching schools.  I found so many.  I looked into some of them...but was even more confused.

During my search, I found the website of a coach named Maia Berens.  Something about her drew me to read her story.  She came through as a woman who had her share of life experiences and challenges, and was totally honest about it!  I loved how she projected herself so well through her website.  It felt as if we were having a conversation.

I immediately emailed her requesting information about coach training.  I was totally right about her.  After a few short emails, and a phone conversation, I decided this was the life coach I needed!!!
Needless to say, the relationship was wonderful.  Little did I know this woman would become my mentor in my life coaching career.  She had her own training program already developed.  All her life and professional experience were poured into this program, which serves as a self-development course and a coach training program.

Maia not only coached me, but she mentored me through the months of deep inner healing, of learning to acknowledge my feelings, of forgiveness. And, great life coaching tools!  It has been a very rewarding journey!!

Today, I am  a YOU University Life Coach.  Life Coaching is a calling, a vocation!!  To be one, you have to be committed to your own ongoing self-development and to the growth and goals of your clients. 
If you are searching for a Life Coach training program, I have to recommend YOU University.  This is not a sales pitch.  Going through the 8-month program has changed my life.  Let it change yours!!! 
Link:  You University Life Coach Training Program

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Self Love is My Priority

Self Love is My Priority
My mentor, Maia Berens, has taught me many lessons since we virtually met years ago.  She came into my mind this morning as I was journaling about certain important lessons in my own life. 
Maia has learned to work with certain health issues.  She can eat anything and everything, but she shouldn’t.  There are certain foods that create havoc in Maia’s body and make her feel uncomfortable.  She’s chosen to care for herself by avoiding and substituting those foods vs. being careless and suffering the consequences.
Well, the lesson I have learned from Maia’s way of self care relates to my own issues with anxiety and depression.  These conditions have accompanied me for most of my life.  When life becomes stressful, they seem to invite themselves in and make way.  These unwanted visitors are closely linked to my old thought patterns and self-image. 
I don’t always care for myself and many times create havoc in my life because of the choices I make.  And then, the visitors are back. 
So I take responsibility for what happens to me.  I know there are certain disciplines I need to practice daily and consistently in order to maintain balance and harmony in my life.  Consistency and commitment to myself are key in remaining balanced.  Because, it’s not that I don’t do what I need to do, I just do it some of the time.  I grow more aware that loving myself is a moment to moment activity. 
So, I commit to:
           Exercising regularly
           Enjoy Nature
           Be more present in each activity I undertake, no matter how common it is…such as washing the dishes. 
           Daily spiritual practice:  meditation, A Course in Miracles principles, prayer, attending my spiritual group, remaining connected to my coaching group, do reiki on myself
           Journaling, writing love letters….getting my feelings out of my system so they don’t accumulate inside
           Being very aware of what I really want, and not pleasing others overriding my own desires and preferences
           Taking time to rest and also enjoy life.  Have more fun.
           Being aware of my thoughts and remaining focused on what is true and eternal
           Consciously breathing so my mental focus is clearer
Don’t get me wrong, I do most of these regularly, but not consistently, and not all of them.  I have a tendency to get lost in my thoughts and in the doing.  Like Maia, it’s a matter of making loving myself my upmost priority.  My quality of life depends on it!!!

Friday, May 9, 2014

What My Process to Entrepreneurship Looks Like

About 12 years ago I was living in Dominican Republic and in my late 40s.  A strong desire was born within me to be all ways.  By then, I was divorced and my children were on their way to adulthood.  I was looking for options to start a business, but I was at a loss for ideas and how to go about it.
Details aside, I came back to the US in 2003 and have continued to work as an employee, as an Administrative Professional.  It's been more than 40 years being an employee, working for someone else.
I know that whatever work I do or services I offer, I will always encounter some kind of business relationship.  But the desire I mentioned above, is now stronger than ever.
One of the reasons I became a Life Coach was precisely to venture into being independent and doing what I love (I love being a Life Coach).
Having an employee mind-set has not helped me move forward.  It's been a process.
Now, at 59, I'm just completing a 2-year training and will soon become a Spiritual Minister.
A few months ago, I took a Claims Researcher training and plan to launch this aspect of my services also shortly.
In December 2013 I registered my company and Virtual Parlor, Inc. was born.  This was a huge step for me.
Until yesterday, I hadn't done anything with VP, Inc.  I have been procrastinating, going back and forth with what's next.
I decided the next step was to go to the bank and open a business account....which I did. was almost funny, as I'm sitting there going through the motions and paperwork at the bank...the thoughts, doubts, fears that were surfacing in my mind.  Are you sure?  What if you make no business and you lose money, seriously, are you going to make this happen?
These are the internal voices that have kept me back all along.  Yes, it's scary.  And my dream, vision, goal is to be independent, prosperous doing what I love and enjoy, effortlessly.
I believe I have created a pretty good platform now with Life Coaching, Ministerial Counseling, Claims Researcher, and a Virtual Assistant.
Next step (and overcoming more fears), is launching each and everyone of these services.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Food Addiction?

I started smoking when I was 14 years old....and quit when I began my spiritual walk at age 31.
I loved to smoke but it didn't serve me anymore in this new phase of life.  To this day, I have never had the urge again to smoke.  I thank God for that.

A few years after that, I started to put on weight.  I've always exercised one way or another, but because I love food and eat mostly what I like (sweets and carbs), I have put on more weight than I care to have.

For the past few years I've decided to lose 10 - 12 lbs., but I just can't stay committed.  I start fine and then return to my old eating habits.

During my devotional time this morning, when I commune with God, the question came to my mind....why am I not able to succeed at this goal? Why do I  make excuses in my mind to eat what I know will keep me exactly where I'm at?

And....why was I able to quit smoking (without much of a struggle)....but not able to stick to eating healthier?
The only answer I got this morning was....maybe I substituted one addiction for another.  Maybe eating comfort food took the place of smoking for me.  I hadn't seen it that way before.

In this morning's conversation with God, I asked for help with this issue.  Maybe I've been trying to do it all on my own.  I'm not sure.  I am open to receive strength, guidance and insight to succeed.

Saturday, February 22, 2014


I've had a few synchronous messages the past few days related to having fun, and laughter.  I've been rediscovering myself for the past few years and one of the things I'm reminded of is to learn to have fun again.  I somehow lost that in adulthood and all the self-created drama in my life.  Today, I stopped to think, what do I have FUN doing?  I went back in memory to my childhood and started to feel what was fun for me then.  I would love to run and play outside with friends, roller skate, play tag, oh, and I'd love to go to the beach...I have loved the water always (I'm a Pisces)!  In grade school I'd get lost in art class with the pastels and paints.  In Jr High I was fabulous at yoga and enjoyed it.  I loved singing in the school choir.  Dancing?  Awesome!  I loved the movies.  I still love all these things because it felt so good thinking of them and feeling the feelings. 
So, I understand that I'm missing out on having fun, today!  Fun is such an important part of Life!  Yes!  Some, if not all, of these things I can do again (well.....maybe not play tag); but I can go more to the movies, go swimming at the pool in my apt complex, the beach (I live in Miami, hello), take an art class.  I believe I'll do this, these; a few months ago, I went out of my comfort zone and joined a women's-only gym.  OMG, it is so much fun.  Yes, it's's challenging, but I enjoy the music, the unison of all of us moving all at once.  Seriously, I intend to have more fun!!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Child Abuse: Healing the Past

My mentor and I were having a phone conversation a few days ago and we touched on the subject of child abuse and molestation. 
I believe there's a part of our emotional self that remains at the age we were molested or abused, until somewhere in our lives we decide to heal that part of us.  We somehow continue reenacting these unresolved issues in our relationships with other people.
It's unfortunate that many people go through their lives, all the way into adulthood and many even into old age, never telling anyone or even themselves that they carry this pain around.  They suffer and many times create suffering for those they love because of unresolved childhood issues.
It takes a lot of self love and courage to do this work; we need to lovingly face our shame and release any guilt we may hold (from the false belief that we were responsible for the abuse). 
Some may acknowledge that they've been abused and go through life blaming and accusing the one who did this to them.  They are filled with resentment, anger and frustration.  These may then turn into depression and anxiety.  But they don't take the step further to free themselves of these toxic feelings.  Forgiving ourselves and the molester or abuser is an important step in healing.

Once we decide we want to heal, it's best to experience this process with the support of a counselor or a life coach.  It can be extremely scary to go back to that event in our lives, and we may want someone to hold our emotional space while we go through this.  But the rewards are priceless. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Decision-making has always been a struggle for me. Taking risks has been scary. It takes me forever to decide what's in my best interest, especially when it's related to life-changing issues such as selling a property, changing jobs, or marketing myself to attract clients and offer my services.

This inner resistance to moving forward into unknown territory has awakened my curiosity to find out what it is at my core that paralizes me.

I'm pretty sure many others go through this whole feeling-stuck experience. But, where does it stem from?

Through self-awareness I’ve discovered it’s linked to self-doubt; self-doubt generated from my constant mind chatter telling me “you can't do this, you don't know enough of that, people are going to realize you're a fake”. At the core? Old negative beliefs I’ve dragged for way too long.

Practicing stillness and asking my Self  (that part of me that is connected to All Wisdom) has helped me tremendously.  When I ask......What feels best to ME? What feels peaceful?  And wait.....I actually receive Guidance.  I find the answers are really inside of me.  It feels peaceful, right for me.  The old beliefs start to fade away as I embrace the truth about myself.  

Taking time to be still and listen has been key to moving forward and to learning to have a new trust in myself.  I believe this takes courage and practice.  It's a shift from self-doubt to self-trust. 

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Valentine's Day....all about LOVE

Valentine's Day approaches and many may feel miserable because they are alone at this time, because they don't have someone to share the holiday with. I am grateful I don't feel this way anymore.

As I read today's A Course In Miracles lesson, which is about God's gifts of peace and joy to me, I truly am overjoyed at this in-love feeling I've discovered inside of me.

I have become aware I have God's Love with me all of the time, wherever I go and whatever I do. It's not conditioned to my behavior or my accomplishments. God gives His gifts to me freely. I don't feel the need anymore to have to "have" someone. When and if that person shows up, it will be a wonderful experience. I will have attracted that experience from a place of well-being, inner peace, joy....not neediness or fear.

I pay tribute to my relationship with God today. I say I am in love with the process of getting to know myself, my true Self. And even getting to know my old self, the one that's been governing my life for so long. It's all good and it's all learning. And it's all about LOVE.