Relationship YOU

As a YOU University Life Coach, I have the privilege of coaching clients through the Relationship YOU program.
My blog today is about my experience coaching two of my clients through Relationship YOU, each married for 30+ years. I am witnessing how a deeper understanding of their past choices and more clarity in their self-perception has motivated them to choose healthier behaviors with their partners today, and with other significant relationships in their lives.  They have experienced wonderful results by following and applying the concepts in the program, most of all understanding that healthy relationships with others is a result of a healthy relationship with ourselves. 
It would have been difficult for me to believe that one could make such changes in a long-term relationship.  The testimonies of both these women are a confirmation that even after 30 years, love and willingness makes all the difference in the world!!

Is Self Employment the New Trend?

Could it be that the new trend in business (for ex-employees) is self-employment?  It may seem that way.  Jobs are scarce.  The economy is very unstable.  Thousands of employees laid off and not finding jobs because so many jobs have been sent overseas.
So, is there a solution?  All over the internet I find ads motivating people to return to college.  Get an education! 
I am in total agreement with ongoing learning.  I love to learn.  But, is all this attention on getting a college degree really the wisest route?  Especially amidst our staggering economic situation?  I don't get it.
Maybe the focus should be more on motivating people to embark in short-term careers, obtain certifications, learn  technical skills.  It's a much more affordable and realistic alternative.  And, you may even create your own business vs. graduating from college to get a "job". 
Who is behind all this insistance to getting a college education in order to land a better job (and huge debt)? Isn't it more practical to offer alternatives by educating and helping people open their own practice/business?  Maybe, just maybe, jobs are taking the back seat to contractual, self-employment.  I'm not saying here that this alternative doesn't already exist.....but it's not obvious.  The college issue is. 
As for me, last year I decided to expand my education in a different career and I became a certified YOU University Life Coach.  Slowly but surely my coaching practice is growing.  It's such a rewarding feeling to offer my services and skills helping others be the best they can be.  And in exchange, create good income!!

Life Is Happening....Even When All Is Still

Last week I was out researching prices and merchandise for an export business between my daughter and I.  I stepped into one particular small clothing store.  The owner and I started chatting.  I told her what I was doing….one thing led to another and out of the blue (?) she asked me if I wanted to help her out two days a week at the store.  I know absolutely nothing about sales, but this felt ok inside and part of a learning process that I need for later on in my journey.
So, yesterday I went for training.  Because it’s something new, I felt awkward, but I was grateful to be out of the house and interacting with people.  And learning.
I’m very involved and excited in expanding my life coaching practice, and I realize that this time in my life is about learning, absorbing, and connecting.  I also feel there is a time to act, a time to rest, a time to be still and pay attention. 
I have prayed and asked God for guidance in all my plans, and what I hear is that it’s time to listen…wait, and take guided steps.  Impatience does creep in a lot, but Wisdom is knowing when to act and when to wait.  So, even though a part of me wants to rush, and whispers that I should be doing this and doing that (many times comparing myself to others and feeling I “should” be moving at a faster speed), it’s not my path.  Learning to follow my own pace is part of my learning.  As Maia reminds me (and is one of the main tools in YOU University program)....LIFE IS A SCHOOL.  And I'm paying attention. 

On Guilt

Ahhhh, guilt.  Not a good friend; one who's accompanied me throughout most of my life.  It made itself a permanent companion when I was just a little girl.
It took control of my self-perception.  Guilt for being me.  Guilt for making mistakes.  Guilt for having dreams.  Guilt for wanting to follow my own path and dance to my own music.
For years, I was held down by imposed roles to be a nice, good girl....woman....daughter....mother...wife....employee...the list goes on.
Today, I invited guilt to step aside.  Even now, having walked a long path of self discovery, healing and forgiveness, guilt sometimes rears it's dirty and accusing presence into my awareness. Yes, I can feel it's dark energy around my stomach and pressure on my shoulders.
But, it's power over me is no more.  I am conscious of its lies and am freer moment to moment from it's manipulative claws. 
Guilt thrives and hides in our culture, religion, families and even among some of our friends.  Come to think of it, society in general.  The pressure and manipulation is there, wanting to control our thoughts, actions, and ultimately, our lives. 
It has taken a lot of courage on my part and much inner work through the years to finally be able to say I've Got The Power.  I take responsibility for my life, in my own terms.  I owe no one anything.  What I do I will do out of love and choice.  Not from guilt and fear.  No more!!!  The chains are broken.   Guilt steps aside, Love takes it's place!!!  Inner peace is the result.

Too Old According to Whom???

Am I too old to embark on a new life project?  A new relationship?  A new career? 
I hear this from many middle aged women....even younger women, in their thirties.  Ohhh, I'm too old.
Society has hammered into our minds, as women, that we are mostly valuable during our younger years, and that that once we hit our fifties, it's over for us and all we have to look forward to is enjoying our grandchildren and retiring. 
I beg to differ!!!
At 56, I'm ready and working each day in creating a new career path.  In 2009 I got an ESL teacher certification.  Last year I became a certified You University Life Coach.  Today, I'm transitioning from an Administrative Professional to a Life Coach and Minister!!  I'm so excited.
The thoughts of being too old sometimes do cross my mind.  I automatically dismiss them.  No one is going to box me in.  Society and the media, and even certain cultures, may still circulate these messages, but it's up to us women to change these images of us.  As long as we believe in ourselves, strive to remain healthy, invest in our well-being and choose to be open to new ventures, we have limitless possibilities and opportunities to continue growing, expanding and making a positive difference in the world.
In our core we are limitless and ageless.  I live from there!!!

I Am As God Created Me

Because of all the on-going inner healing work I've embarked in in the past years (such as You University Life Coach training program) and my spiritual disciplines (ex. ACIM), I am understanding that I have all of God's attributes because God IS my Life.  I am One with God.  This is as natural as breathing.
Some may still think, even in today's day and age, that this belief is sacrilegious. Some may think this is self-centered and link it to a feeling of superiority.  No way.
God is our life.  We Are because God Is.  Whatever your idea of God, whether it's Divine Source, the Universe, the Creator....God's Life is in each and every one of us and in all lives.  The plants, the ocean, the trees, the animals, etc.
To begin to fathom this truth that I am as God created me and that everything else going on in my head is of my own making (inherited from my upbringing and culture) fills me with awe.  It was so alien to see myself in this light, yet now it begins to make perfect sense.  This is the "place" I've been searching for all of my life.  HOME.  A home filled with peace, defenselessness, total trust, joy, guiltlessness.
To realize that I have the power to change the world, to bring Its Light to each living being, to understand that I am INNATELY Love and that I am complete just because, is like taking off dirty clothes I've been wearing and find I have been wearing WHITE, SPOTLESS garments all along underneath.
The most important thing I keep in mind is that all of this is a gift from my Creator.  I have done nothing at all to have to measure up, earn or sacrifice in order to Be Love and loved.
By practicing changing the old self-image of not good enough to the All-Encompassing and Whole Me motivates me to go out into the world and share this Truth with everyone.  This is what I do as a Life Coach.  Remind others who they really are!!    
I (the old me) step back and invite the Light of God to step forward and guide me.

I Am a Creator

I am definitely a creator of the life I want to experience. 
I don't get to see my children or grandchildren very often because I live in the US and they all live in the Dominican Republic.  My oldest granddaughter's 4th birthday was now in March.  I came for her birth, but have never enjoyed being here for any of her birthdays.  I so desired to come...but for financial reasons, I felt it was not the right time to do so.  Yet, the desire was there.  I hadn't come to see my family since last September.
But here I am!!  I made it.  My daughter also had the same desire!!  With her and her hubby's offer to pay for my flight ticket, I hopped on a plane and am enjoying my time so much.  I am so grateful. 
I am grateful to God, to my daughter and hubby, and to Myself, for creating the opportunity and allowing myself to enjoy it. 
As I practice and take these small steps in believing and creating what I want to experience, I am excited to move forward in other areas of my life and do the same!!!

Why Journal?

Finally, I've created the habit of journaling.
It took me a long time and quite many trials.  Through the years I've started a journal many times...then I forget.  Weeks, months and sometimes a year would go by without writing, until I felt the need again to journal what was going on in my life, inside and out; I'd start all over again.
Why do I journal?  Well, in my journal I can express what I'm feeling.  These are words infused with who I really am and what is actually going on inside me, and in my life.
Journaling helps me unload the emotional "stuff" I may be carrying around.  Journaling is a useful tool in self-development and also for inner healing. I can write my desires, my dreams and goals.  
I write emotions I may have towards people in my life exactly as I am feeling them:  anger, fear, distrust, frustration, or love, admiration, desire...feelings I am not ready or unable to express outwardly, but my journal holds and receives them.  It's my friend.  Never divulging what I write, but just holding my heart.
When I read my journals from years back, I can appreciate my journey, how I've grown and developed, or how I'm still the same in certain areas of my life.  It usually brings a smile to my face.  I can witness my own transformation.
Would you like to get into the habit of journaling?  Visit and be a member of a free journaling community where you'll learn to journal by following weekly topics that are related to your everyday life.  Here's the link:  http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/community-cost-gain.

Do Affirmations Really Work?

Are affirmations effective?  Do they really work in creating a shift in our moods or feelings?  I believe they do.  They work for me. Sometimes I've read articles written by professionals stating that an affirmation alone will not create any change in us....especially if we don't really believe what we are affirming.  Really?  Reading these statements has sometimes made me doubt.  But, then I remember the best proof I can have is my own experience with affirmations.
I'm blogging about this because I realize we, and I, have so many available tools, which are free, and we're always searching for something else, someone else, to teach us or show us the way....when we already know what we need to do.  And, affirmations are one of them.  As a You University Life Coach, I share this tool with my clients because I know their effectiveness.
Do you know that our thoughts are affirmations?  Every thought we entertain is affirming what we think of ourselves, of life, of others.  Whether it's conscious or not.  But our thoughts are affirmations.
Many years ago during a bout of depression, I learned a very effective and soothing tool to work my way out of the depression....using Bible verses as affirmations.
I got this idea out of a book I was reading at the time.  I learned that depression starts with a thought.  Again, our thoughts are so powerful...they can lead us to peace or despair.  Remember that phrase, "Be careful what you wish for"?  I'd say...."Be careful what you think about".
So, as the book suggested, I wrote one bible verse per index card until I had about 10.  Whenever I got panicky and fearful (these accompanied the depressive state and would arise within me unexpectadly), I'd take out a card and read the verse out loud or in silence....I'd read it as wholly as I could. It didn't matter whether I was driving or cooking or trying to sleep, I'd do it.   At first, these affirmations didn't seem to make any difference in my mood or feelings....but, I kept on ....after a few months...the depression had lifted.  I have to say that the affirmations actually balanced my brain chemistry.
This tool may not work for everyone, but what have you got to lose?
You can find affirmations in the Bible, in A Course in Miracles, in other spiritual scriptures you read....or you can create your own.
Affirmations are a great tool:

• when you're depressed or anxious
• when you're fearful
• if about to face a challenging situation
• whenever you feel self-doubt
• if you feel anger rising up within you
• and.....whenever you feel you need them

Journaling is another highly effective tool in our journey to self-discovery and healing.  Watch for my next post to learn more about it.  Meanwhile, visit this http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/community-cost-gain  and read about a wonderful journaling community you can join where you'll find a gentle haven of sharing and support.

Peace!!!

My Brain, My Spirituality & Me

I am a curious soul.  Because I've dealt with chronic mild depression and anxiety since my teens, I've spent most of my life reading material on the subjects and have grown increasingly interested in spirituality also.  The bottom line is I've been wanting to know myself as best I can while at the same time being scared of what I might find inside me.
Many sources have been inspiring and of much help in the practical aspect of managing these conditions. 
The movie What the Bleep Do We Know introduced me, among other concepts, to the scientific knowledge of how parts of my brain works.  I now understand (a little bit) how a life-long thought pattern creates neuronets in the brain and these secrete certain chemicals as a reaction to thoughts/situations...ergo REACTIONS.  These become automatic. 
Studying A Course in Miracles has made me aware of how harmful and exclusive the ego thought system is. This is a practical course in learning to change the way I see the world and myself.  So, I am the cause and not the effect.  I need to work on changing my state of mind in order to change my reality.  I can choose.  I believe practicing this can create new neuronets based on peaceful and living thoughts.
I've read a few books on Zen and meditation.  Sit, quiet the mind, breathe, observe the thoughts.  They are not who I really am.  This is not my real Self.  Automatically, I am seeing how these thoughts that used to scare me to death are losing power over me. This practice can also have a positive effect on my brain by creating new neuronets.
I've listened to channelings also. And I exercise.  I pray.  I have a relationship with God. 
I have learned all the above little by little....because I'm curious and investigative.  I look here and read there.  I ask questions, I go to groups, I read alot of books, go to workshops.  And, I feel the need to blog about it hoping others will read this and maybe benefit from it. 
What I would love and appreciate is to find a source, one source, a compilation of all this knowledge that is being put out there, find it in one book or one organization.  How helpful and integrating this would be.  To explain it all in such a way that the information would be in one place!!!