Why Can’t I Remember?

Earlier this week I pondered why no one recalls where we come from, where we were before we incarnated into this world of form.  Why is it so hard to remember??? 

Some pieces of this puzzle have begun to come into my awareness.  I asked and I am receiving.  

First, this world stands for everything that is based on fear.  I realize I have been brainwashed since birth to live in fear, to identify with this body and feel weak, lacking and insecure.  
The whole system we live in is structured this way, to keep us fearful, searching for meaning,, for worth, for purpose, for love outside of ourselves.  We feel lacking!!  At least I have most of my life.  

This desire to feel whole and complete cannot be fulfilled with anything this world offers.  And here is the truth of it all.  Everything here is always changing, passing, ephemeral, offering no real security.  I am left always looking for something more.

I step back, loosen my identification with the body and this world as I open up to spiritual principles that offer me a new way of being.  It’s a way of truth, of peace and of joy.  

There is a veil that has been put over our awareness to keep us asleep and in forgetfulness.  Will we be courageous enough, willing enough to look beyond this veil and realize that fear is just a mental construct we’ve been programmed to believe is real?  Fear has no power of its own.  Our belief in it is what keeps its control over our minds. 

We fear life, we fear death, we fear loss and lack, we even fear God, our own Creator!  Fear keeps us feeling alone, separate and powerless.  These are all mental obstacles raised to keep us away from our truth and asleep.  This is why we can’t remember.  Do I want to wake up???  For sure!  I want to know the truth and be free.  

We saw an example of this in the Wizard of Oz….its voice and seeming presence was loud, scary, overpowering…and yet, unreal.  Once Dorothy and her friends looked behind the veil, they found a scared little man with no power at all!  And they were then able to find what they were searching for, all along within themselves!!!

The fear disappears once we decide to turn to truth.  Many are already on to the deception of the system.  Some may choose to stay a while longer in fear, but I’m just not one of them.  I will to be free.  

"Teach Only Love, For That is What You Are"

It seems that we all have our own interpretation or experience of what love is to us.

Much of how we experience love is linked to the environment in our home during our upbringing, and then repeating these patterns in our subsequent relationships.  

To me, love is both, feeling and action.  In my experience, there are times when I behave lovingly even when the feeling is lacking; and other times I act upon my loving feelings because the feeling is there.

Now, I am open to what A Course in Miracles teaches, and that is that I, and all of us, are love.  We ARE LOVE.  We are as God created us.  As I allow this idea to penetrate my awareness and I identify with this truth about myself, I am able to be loving even when I am not feeling loving.  What happens is that the feeling naturally follows the act of love.  This has such a healing effect on me  the giver, and on the receiver.  
As I embrace the idea that we all are love, my perception of others softens and a deeper connection is available for me.  

Sense of Guilt

Remaining in a relationship or situation out of a sense of guilt or duty can be confused with love.  
In hindsight, I’ve been in such a place, and it produced ill-feelings toward the other person, coupled with a sense of guilt (in part because of the feelings) and entrapment.  

The way for me out of this did not come easy or automatically.  I had to work at it because guilt had a very stronghold on me since I was very young, and it was linked to my sense of self.  

But once I learned to acknowledge my feelings, without judgment and connect to my Inner Guidance through prayer, journaling and self-awareness, I was able to take small steps towards a healthier way of relating, then realizing that staying in an unhealthy environment was not loving at all.  Guilt was not going to control my life anymore.

Playing the victim and making the other person a victimizer was not a role I wanted anymore. I learned I had a choice to either leave, set strong boundaries, or learn to perceive things from a higher perspective.  The Guidance always came as to what to do next.  

A Course in Miracles in My Path Home

A Course in Miracles became my next step on my spiritual journey Home, back to God. 

I began my study of it in early 2007 in a beautiful, intimate study group in a Unity church.  Since then, I have read it, put it down, felt resistance to its teachings (the ego in me resists the truth because it's a relinquishment of it), picked it up again and now it's a part of my everyday life.

Sometimes the practice of its principles can be challenging for me because I resist letting go of my own will.  But I continue on, and practice, practice, apply.  I see the results in my inner healing and in the healing of my relationships with others and life itself.

Most of all, my experience of God's has blossomed and I become aware of it moment to moment.  As I relate to others, I practice loving, because this is the purpose of being here on earth.  To see love in all, without exclusions.  I fail, for sure, because the ego never rests.  But I watch my judgmental thoughts and feelings of fear and attack as they come up and remember the truth. 

This is my path. 

In the World But Not of The World

I am definitely not of this world and I've known this for a long time.  

And for a long time I wondered what my purpose here was.  I was honored to be the channel of life to 3 wonderful and unique beings....my children.
Other than that, I felt a bit odd and disconnected from the usual goals of this world such as making a lot of money, being famous, etc. 

I cherish deep and authentic connections but most of all my relationship with the Divine is what has brought me purpose and fulfillment.  Understanding I am the eyes, voice hands of God and that I am here to be light, to heal and heal others makes my being here worthwhile and purposeful.  

As for the body, nope, I am not the body.  I am in this body to communicate with others the light that we all are.  As I awaken so do they.  No one awakens alone.  I care for the body because it is the loving and responsible thing to do.  

Blessings.