Thursday, September 21, 2017

Spirit Sustains Me

More than a week ago we experienced Hurricane Irma here in Florida.  We were hit pretty hard.  It was a long Saturday night and a long day Sunday, with what seemed like never-ending wind gusts and heavy rain.

I experienced category 3 and 5 hurricanes when living in Dominican Republic...those were really strong, yet Irma seemed different.  Stronger, longer and it felt as if Nature was angry.

I witnessed from our balcony how the palm and pine trees that stood a few feet away took a strong beating, bending over to the lash of the wind gusts!  I felt for them.  I sent them loving thoughts, telling them to stay strong and hold on! Some gave in and were uprooted, others survived.

After 5 days without power (while others up to 8 days and maybe even more), I am grateful that our family and properties suffered little to no damages, and we are working our way back to normalcy.  Not so for many.

My faith has taken a toll seeing the devastation to so many lives because of Hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Maria.  Add to that the two major earthquakes in Mexico and the spreading wildfires on the West Coast of the U.S.

TV and social media can be a double-edged sword; they can be very informative, but I realize I must keep them to a minimum or I can become overwhelmed and even cynical.  It's too much too soon.  I couldn't help but cry and feel the pain in my chest as I watched the many images on TV of desperate, weeping parents waiting for their children to be rescued (or even the unthinkable) from the rubble of a school building demolished by the force of the last earthquake in Mexico.

During my prayer times I have cried, I have questioned God, I have felt anger!  All this has hit very close to home.  And it hurts!  I have been this way for days now....I have journaled my feelings on paper extensively (always therapeutic), I've mentally written many love letters to process these feelings, and I've prayed a whole lot.

I am returning to feeling better now.  Spirit has reminded me, patiently, lovingly, gently, and in many ways, that It is present in all places and in everyone, no matter what my eyes see.  Spirit reminds me to stay in the present moment, to continue praying, extending love and to be faithful that all is in perfect order.  It has not been easy for me. But I remember that we are all connected, that underneath the seeming separateness, Oneness is the only truth.

A specific quote from A Course in Miracles keeps coming to my awareness:  Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.   In my prayers I continue to ask Spirit to help me see things differently, to see only what is true, with the eyes of my Inner Being so I can return to peace.

I sort of visualize this experience as crossing a precipice on a tight rope (yes kind of extreme) and NOT LOOK DOWN, only focus on the next step.

So, faith is still with me, God is in this next step, and God is also waiting for me with open arms at the end of the rope. I will make it, we will make it.  We are in this together.  You, me and God.  I invest my thoughts and feelings to sending love, light and strength to all experiencing difficult times.  Again, remembering that we are all one.

This is all I can say for now.  I'm sure many can identify.  

Friday, August 11, 2017

Micro Dreams and Macro Dreams

This morning I woke up from a really strange dream.  I won't go into detail, but it was about me getting married to someone I really didn't want to marry and now had to break it off.  I was having difficulty talking to the groom-to-be because he and I had no connection, he never looked at me in the eyes, and also my father visited in the dream, looking happy, handsome and in a suit.  People in the dream would be hurt by me not going through with the wedding, but I was determined to not do it.

When I woke up I had this feeling of relief and was thankful it was just a dream.  Then I remembered what A Course in Miracles consistently states, that this seeming life I'm living is also a dream.

As I had that thought, I said to God in my mind....how can this be a dream when it seems so real? And another thought to answer that one popped in my head:  how can this NOT be a dream?  It's a crazy experience, with so many uncertainties, fears, ever-changing situations, birth, a few years to learn, earn a living, raise a family or whatever we choose to do here, and, in most cases, there's aging, sickness and then death.  Like my husband always says, we have micro dreams and this is a macro dream.

How can this NOT be a dream?

My priority over all else is to awaken from this dream by healing my mistaken perceptions!  I'm not always aware of this, and I get caught up in the ego illusions, but I ask Spirit to remind me all the time so I can choose to see what is true and real each moment.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Fear of Abandonment

Someone close to me shared a thought they had about how contradictory it is that we are so very dependent physically and emotionally we are as a species and yet we suffer from fear of abandonment.....and how that fear of abandonment is present throughout our lives and in most of our relationships.  

I thought about it for a while before commenting back on the thought. I think we experience this fear of abandonment because at a very deep level we have felt abandoned by our Creator.  I know I have felt this way in the past as if God had sent me down here and just left me to my own luck.  I felt lost, alone and confused believing I had to fend for myself.

It's a deep feeling of abandonment, and honestly, only God can heal that.  Of course, I realize now that God never abandoned me and it's only a perception I have.  God always Is.

Since I've been more willing to heal my mind and my perception of myself and of this whole world, I feel God's presence in my life and become aware that I am not alone, that God never left me, that I chose at some level to be independent and separate from God (which is impossible)....this hasn't worked out well at all.  Just look at the condition of this world.

As I do the work of removing the blocks in perception, which are the false beliefs in guilt and sin and punishment, and focus on what is Truth, the fear dissipates.

God has never left me nor judges me and there is nothing to fear.  The parable of The Prodigal Son in the Bible in Luke 15:11–32 is an idea of the loving Farther God is.  God is Love.

Friday, August 4, 2017

The Best Judge of What My Body Needs is Me!

The best judge of what my body needs is me! I've been pretty healthy most of my life.  Other than constipation years ago, which now is not an issue, I've never had any major health issues.  


Exercise has always been a part of my routine, whether it's walking, yoga, aerobic classes, some weights and now biking.

About 5 or 6 years ago my knees began to ache.  Beginning of arthritis was the diagnosis, in my knees and a few other joints as well, as time has passed.  With physical therapy, massage therapy, visits to a chiropractor, no heels and shifting from power walks to biking.....my knees are way better and I can wear heals again (sometimes).

Yet, my greatest health challenge remains to be food!  I love to eat and have a pretty big sweet tooth. My Latin background is partly to blame, as I love our rice and beans, cafe con leche, tostones, and all the tasty foods that get my taste buds fiesta dancing!!!  I've never been fat but have carried about 12 extra pounds for many years; I was able to lose most of them last year, although I've gained a few back.  I do have much more awareness of  the quality and quantity of what I eat now.

Because of what has started to show up in my body, you know, the aches, arthritis, I have taken more of an interest in my nutrition.  I've read books and articles and also watched many educational videos on the subject to be better informed and able to make wiser choices.  

But I realize how much time and focus I have spent continuously thinking about what to eat, when to eat, is this going to make me fat, sick, diabetic, etc., etc.  Last week coffee was bad for me, yesterday it's now good.  Eat meat, don't eat meat.  Carbs, fats, vegetarian, vegan, Paleo, Atkins, on and on, each affirming it's THE way to eat.  OMG.  How confusing and contradictory!!!   What is "good" or "bad" for the body is constantly changing.  Something so natural and enjoyable has become daunting.

You know what?  I have concluded the best judge of what my body needs is me!  I appreciate all the information and choose wisely.  I believe food is to be enjoyed and not feared.  It's about balance! 

Friday, July 28, 2017

There Is So Much Information Available to Me

photo by Simon Matzinger
I believe the most fundamental purpose in this life experience is that I Know Myself.

From my childhood, through my teen years and then as an adult, I searched a lot to find my identity and my purpose; I looked for these answers in books, teachers, counseling, religion, accomplishments, and through my relationships with my parents, partners, friends, etc.

And yes, all of these shed some light; but of course this light was not too shiny because I relied too much on outside feedback.

I've lived and learned, and have really started looking within, questioning my beliefs, listening to how I feel and what I allow into my experience.  Each day I learn to gauge where I am walking in truth and where I am believing in illusions.

Knowing myself has become my number one purpose.  I now have more willingness to observe my thoughts, to question my beliefs and to sense what is Truth.  Whatever I react to without serves as information to let me know what is going on inside....many times stuff I'm not yet aware of until I actually "look".  Look not with my physical eyes but with Spirit, with my Higher Self.  All this goes on continuously, in my everyday life and in my many encounters with others at home, at work, while driving, etc.

I know myself more by becoming aware of the patterns that continue to show up in my life. My relationships and the situations I attract are a wealth of information.  I notice that many times I'm not as present as I would like to be in my daily activities and react almost automatically.

I can know myself in the everyday, simple things and moments that Life presents to me. I practice paying attention and being more aware.  No fear.  I embrace it with love and compassion.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Being With Myself


Sometimes, if not many times, I am overwhelmed by all the noise and excessive stimuli that captures my attention continuously.  It comes from social media on my iPhone or computer, from TV commercials, even in the mail I receive numerous offers....so much to read, to listen to, and to filter out.

But t's really up to me to choose what to allow into my awareness and what to filter out.  

Think on These Things is a book based on lectures by Jiddu Krishnamurti that I read many years ago. He pointed out how difficult it is for many of us to be with ourselves in a quiet environment, such as under a tree in Nature.  To just sit there.  He continued to point out how we have to have some kind of external stimulus all the time. We read a book, we turn on the TV or radio, get on our computer or iPhone to connect with social media..... in order to not feel alone?  

So, I remember that a lot and lately I'm practicing sitting in my bedroom or living room with no book, no music, no computer, no TV.  Just still, quiet...and be, for a few minutes here and there.  I'm not meditating, I'm just being with myself and paying attention.  

I admit it feels different.  It's a nice, positive feeling.  Freeing.

Monday, July 10, 2017

About The Text of A Course in Miracles

2017 began with my intention of reading and studying the Text of A Course in Miracles. It is my desire to understand the teaching of the Course and apply it to my daily life at a deeper level.  More than anything I want to become more conscious and aware of my beliefs, and practice releasing what doesn't serve me and returning to being who I truly am, as God created me!

For the past 10 years I've done the lessons 3 times and participated in several Course study groups. In these groups we've delved into the Text to find deeper meaning to the teachings, but only now have I decided to do my own self-study of it in order to allow the Holy Spirit to show me the way at a very personal level, from within, and not so much from external teachings.

I can testify that I can feel the difference in my awareness and willingness to hear Spirit's Guidance moment to moment.  My understanding has started to shift (finally) from a mental/intellectual understanding to more of an experience.  I feel more present, less defensive and willing to connect with others at a soul level, going beyond what I see with my physical eyes.  I can say that my Inner Eye is taking the lead in connecting and communicating with others, as well as with myself.

As I apply these principles at a deeper level, I realize my intrinsic worth, and that I am safe, secure, powerful, invulnerable and loved by my Creator; exactly what I've desired my entire adult life.

Each and every teaching and tool from the past has been a stepping stone leading to me to this Now in my life.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Our California Vacation--Many Blessings

My husband and I took a much-needed vacation to California last week.  Our first stop was Santa Monica where we finally met in person my dear friend Maia Berens.

My initial contact with Maia was in 2007 when I was searching online for information on life coaching. I found Maia's website, https://www.maiaberens.com/, and was quickly and naturally drawn to her as if I already knew her.

After communicating by email and a 45-minute phone conversation, I hired Maia to be my life coach.
By 2010 I graduated from the YOU University Life Coach Training Program created by Maia. We've
been online friends, colleagues, and have had weekly coaching calls for the past 9 years. 

We were both eager to meet. When we finally met, we hugged, spent quality time together over lunch, went for a walk in the park and I even got to play with her bubbly granddaughter, Juniper.

While at the park we recorded a live video on Facebook.  A truly wonderful experience! Good friends are hard to come by.  I'm glad Maia is in my life.

By the way,  I loved Santa Monica, with its quaint homes, its variety of exotic desert-like plants, beautiful gardens and lay-back lifestyle.

         ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


After, hubby and I flew to San Francisco.  This was a completely different experience.  We stayed in the downtown area and felt like we were in our hometown, NYC, only with palm trees and hills.  What an exciting, fast-paced city.  We did a lot of walking, and eating in different restaurants.



Our best culinary experience was in Chinatown at a small Chinese restaurant called House of Nanking. What a treat, a truly authentic Chinese meal.  The best we had all week.  And we went to a few fine dining restaurants.  But this beat all of them.  So, not all that glitters is gold!!

We didn't leave the downtown area because we felt at home there.  We saw many homeless people roaming the streets and gave cash to some and leftover food to others.  

Altogether, we had a wonderful time.  We are grateful we had this experience and grateful we are safely back home!


Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Books As Teachers

The first self-help book I ever read when I was 15 years old was The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale.  Applying some of the principles really helped me feel better.  I was going through very hard times as a teen, with anxiety attacks and mild depression. 

Then I remember reading a best-seller at the time, Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne Dyer.  That was a great book.  I also remember reading I'm Ok You're Ok, by Thomas Anthony  Harris,a practical guide to transactional analysis as a method for solving problems in life, which was also very helpful at the time.

Books have always been teachers and healing tools for me.  More than therapists and counselors.  So many books have held my hand along the way, helping me understand and heal my inner pain and confusion. 

During the 80's and 90's I was very involved in Christianity as an active member in an evangelical church for more than 15 years.  I studied The Bible and practiced the principles within it for many years, and the spiritual wisdom in this holy book sustained me during a time of much turmoil in my marriage at that time. What I learned from it still remains within me as a guiding light. 

Moving along on my journey I opened up to other spiritual paths, such as the series of Conversations with God.  Oh how I loved the content of these books.  It was soothing and felt like Truth.

Think on These Things by Jiddu Krishnamurti was another teacher book along the way.  Here I got a clearer understanding about not having an ideal (which creates frustration because it's not ever reachable) and about releasing beliefs of any kind in order to meet each moment with a fresh and open mind. 

A New Earth (The Power of Now) by Ekhart Tolle was also a wonderful book that made me aware of the pain body and about being in the present moment where there is true peace and awareness.

And then A Course in Miracles came to me in 2007.  This book has been transformational for me.  I've been a student for ten years now and it's been key in helping me surrender to the Spirit within, as I learn to choose to see innocence where I saw judgment before....it reminds me repeatedly of my true identity.  I continue to practice the principles in the Course because it truly heals my mind in so many ways.  Still more practice, moment to moment.  As I do so, this life gets a bit happier. 


Monday, May 29, 2017

The Secret and Mystery of Life



What if the secret and mystery of this whole life experience is to discover our power, the love that we are, and to realized that we are as God created us?  Powerful, joyful, at peace, secure, provided for, eternal, whole, and so much more!!!

What if the truth has always been right here, within us, ready to be uncovered?  What if it’s just blocked from our awareness by programming, illusions of unworthiness, guilt, fear held in our minds by our beliefs? 

Each opportunity we encounter to…. extend love (to ourselves and others), to choose to see through the blocks….we come closer to the Light within!!

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Find the Gift in Every Situation

I promise to stay true to myself even if that means disappointing another.

I wrote this statement as a commitment to myself early this year during a women's retreat.

In the YOU University coaching program, I learned many tools for processing my emotions and to discover repressed fears, in order to learn from my life experiences instead of feeling like a victim.  These tools are practical and as I continue to use them, they change my life all for the better.

Finding the Gift in every situation is one of them. Just recently I had the opportunity to apply this tool.

A few weeks ago I decided to take on a new activity in my life, believing I would enjoy doing it. I accepted the challenge because it sort of fell into my lap without much effort. But now I realize that it is not what it seemed to be; because I consider myself responsible, I'm having a hard time communicating to the other party my decision to not provide my services anymore.

Once again, I realize that it's still difficult for me to honor my feelings and desires when I have to disappoint someone else.  Many times in the past I've stayed in situations that have been detrimental to my peace of mind.  

This time, and moving forward, I choose to care for myself and to stay true to Me.  Thank you for the gift that has been revealed to help me heal and become more of who I truly am!

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Ego Has a Hard Time With Uncertainty

Ego has a very hard time with change and uncertainty.  I know I have felt this.....and am more aware of this now than ever before.

Ego thrives on feeling secure, in control, and being able to prepare for (thinking it knows) the future.

Whether it's life insurance, health insurance, property insurance, flood insurance, retirement savings, even some relationships, these can all be a means of creating a sense of security.....and the list goes on and on.  I don't deny that in the dream world we live in, many of these seem to proved a sense of security. I surely do.  But change is a given in this world.  And change does bring a sense of not knowing.  That's just the way it is.

Change can be an unsettling experience.  Whether it's a new job, a move to a new city, state or residence, I have felt a certain anxiety and uncertainty when confronted with these experiences.

But lately I've become more aware of my true being and let go of old fear-based beliefs.  I feel more at ease and trusting that all is well. Realizing this is truly a dream, I don't take myself nor the stuff that seems to happen so seriously!

My life is now much more enjoyable and peaceful!

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

What I Really Want

Over and over I have been taught that I need to know what I want in order to reach my goals and fulfill my dreams.

Well, I'm not sure why, but I've never really known what it is that I want to do. I do believe there are some people who are very defined in their passions, but honestly, I'm not one of them.  Not in the worldly sense at least.

Since an early age, I had a natural inclination to teaching, motivating, helping others.  I was extremely curious about life, God, spirituality in general, and how we humans fit into the whole equation.  This still remains true.  

I remember in high school I wanted to be a psychologist , a policewoman, a flight attendant, but I didn't follow any of those paths. My life just turned out differently.

As a teen, I always wanted to have 3 children. By my 20th birthday, I was married, and in the next few years I became the mother of 3 wonderful children.  I can say that this has been a wonderful and fulfilling experience.

Other than that, now at 62, I still can't say I know what I want.  I've come to know what I don't want. The sense of confinement, being boxed in and having to conform definitely do not resonate with me. After almost 40 years of working in corporations as an Administrative Professional, I know what that's like.

Lesson #24 of A Course in Miracles is titled:  I Do Not Perceive My Best Own Best Interests, and it's about this.  I don't really know what is the best path for me, I don't really know what would make me happy in any given situation.  I have no real guide to appropriate action, only what is determined by my perception.  As a Minister and Life Coach, I know that as I connect with others, help them remove the blocks in their minds that keep them stuck and in fear.....I also help myself.

More than ever, my practice and goal now is to ALLOW God through my Higher Self to show me the way.  As a teacher of God, I need to trust that I am being guided, lovingly, step by step, to what is in my best interest in each situation.  I want this.  It's peaceful, it feels secure, and it allows me to deepen my relationship with God and myself.  This is all that I know that I really want.

Monday, April 10, 2017

La Experiencia de la Consejería Para Acceder la Sabiduría Interna

La Consejería para Acceder la Sabiduría Interna se enfoca en permitir que tu Sabiduría Interna nutra tu crecimiento espiritual y te ayude a sanar de la manera que sea mejor PARA TI!
  • Estás experimentando un hábito indeseable que parece controlarte?
  • Sientas ansiedad, temor, ira y parezca que no puedes liberarte de ello?
  • Tu mente regresa una y otra vez a revisar alguna escena que te perturba y te crea malestar?
  • Estás experimentando una enfermedad?
  • Sientes que algo en tu vida necesita cambiar?
Este proceso prepara el escenario para que puedas observar los "conjuntos de pensamientos" inconscientes que pueden estar causando estos estados mencionados y otros mas.  

Como tu consejera en esta sesión, facilito el proceso para ayudarte a que te conectes con tu paz interna, y accesar la percepción de tu Sabiduría Interna, y así crear mayor consciencia para que puedes ver claramente, viendo más allá de las barreras auto-creadas, dando un paso importante en tu proceso de despertar a tu verdadero ser!

En la sesión recibirás ayuda para conectarte con tus recursos internos y abrir tus canales de comunicación interna.  
  

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

THINK TRUTH!!

"Nothing real can be threatened; nothing unreal exists."

This is one of my favorite quotes from A Course in Miracles. It's deep, and a reminder to me to be focused only on what is true.  Anything other than Truth is but an illusion, made up and with no meaning.

Thinking is always going on in my mind.  All sorts of thoughts pop up in my head....meaningless thoughts, fearful ones, worries, planning, ....most not connected to who I really am and keeping me mindlessly busy and detached from my present moment.

By remembering the above quote, I return to the NOW.  It reminds me that any fearful thought is not coming from my Real Self, it's not true and I can choose to release it once I'm aware. When worry thoughts pop up, I again remind myself that nothing real can be threatened.

Peace is always the result of this practice.  

Friday, March 10, 2017

Responsibility For the Life We Experience

Spiritual leaders and wise ones have stated so many times that we humans are all one and connected at our deepest level.  Because of this oneness that unites us, what we do to or desire for others we also do to ourselves; yet, so many, if not the majority, of us choose to remain in a state of separateness by judging, rejecting, even hating others.

You would think that awareness of this truth would motivate each of us to practice kindness, understanding, being non-judgmental, whether it’s a political figure, our spouse, boss, a family member, or neighbor.  But not so. 

Today, with all the access to global and local information at our fingertips, we allow ourselves to be overcome with fear and division. Sometimes I too find myself being critical, angry, and even rejecting another and I miss an opportunity to practice being loving, connecting, and understanding. 

I have come to believe that all these negative feelings are stored and accumulated in our subconscious and eventually show up in our bodies as physical ailments. 

I’m not writing about anything new.  I’m sure we have all read or heard about this in other material, whether scientific or spiritual.  Our bodies (and our lives) are a reflection of what we entertain in our consciousness (thoughts, beliefs). 

Many of us are becoming more aware of this reality.  With this awareness, we can choose to move away from negative conversations, writings, or interactions and not allow fear to continue separating us.  

I move that we start more than ever to practice a more loving and healing way of being.  Let’s choose to see beyond the error, beyond what we perceive as obnoxious behavior and see the true being behind the personality.  This takes practice and a willingness to let go of our desire to be right and special.      

We have so much power to create a more loving experience instead of one of fear and separation.  Let’s not “fight against” anything but “work towards” the good.  

I’m considering starting an online group with those that feel the same as I, where we join to bless, to share goodness, loving truths, and then witness the shift within us and around us.  Let us remind each other that we have the power to change our experience as we choose to see from a more loving perspective.  YOU AND I ARE ONE. 


Let’s start taking responsibility for the life we experience and be mindful of it!!!

Friday, March 3, 2017

Self Empowerment Through Life Coaching

Many of us turn to others to find answers and meaning for our lives.  We put our faith in: 
  • A guru to tell us what to do to be happy (self esteem)
  • A doctrine to show us what rules to follow to get to Heaven (spiritual meaning)
  • The media to tell us what car, house, body-building discipline, food, etc., to buy to find acceptance (self image)
So many people and organizations telling us what to do with our lives that we can't hear ourselves.  All the noise deafens our Inner Voice. 

Ultimately, only My Real Self truly knows what is best for me.  My point?  I need to learn to go within, be still and listen.  How can someone from the outside know what is right for me?  Well, they don't.

As a ministerial counselor and life coach, my role is to motivate you, hold you accountable, guide you back to your Real Self.  A good coach assists you back Home, within and creates the environment in the relationship to help you see you are responsible for your life.  You have choices that are right just for you.  A life coach holds YOU accountable for what you commit to.  A good coach mirrors back to you what you may be running away from and need to deal with.

With a life coach, it's going back to basics.  Back to YOU.
Then, if you choose to do so, you go to church, you buy the new car, you get the huge house, but not out of fear of "not being enough", but because YOU consciously choose this because it feels right for you!!

You are self empowered and responsible.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

What Do I Want

I share this post from a few years ago because it's still relevant and can inspire others to work with this exercise.

I discovered something at a very deep level while doing a spiritual practice for the past 6 days.

The practice is titled:

What Do I Want

I close my eyes, and ask myself this question....I allow the responses to come from deep within.  I  repeat this several times, closing my eyes, feeling what comes up in images, feelings or sensations and then write them down.
At the end of 7 consecutive days I am to re-read these 7 pages highlighting what desires are consistent.  These are my true desires and what I need to focus on when making decisions.

I am on day 6 today but I already see the pattern. What is coming up strongly is:
  • the feeling of wanting to be me, to express myself
  • to share and have companionship
  • to work independently and with flexibility 
  • abundance 
This morning I pondered on where did this desire originate,what triggered it.  It came to my awareness immediately.

My mom, who did her best to raise me, was extremely controlling of me.  I was not allowed to go out to play, I couldn't sit on the floor and get dirty, I was not allowed to go to parties as a teenager, she walked me to school until I was 12 (very embarrassing in front of my friends)....all this controlling went on and on until I left home @ 20 to get married.  It was a hasty decision made to get out of the house.
 
There have been other similar experiences in my life, generated by me because of this pattern.  At 18 we moved to Dominican Republic,and  it was very difficult having to conform to a completely different culture (I was born and raised in NYC in the '60s / 70's), so I felt like a fish out of water for years and years and did my best to fit in.  Never did.

Doing this exercise and becoming aware of how intensely I've denied my Self helps me to love and honor my desires moving forward and make choices more aligned with who I truly am inside and not "what is expected of me".  I understand better why I am unhappy at most jobs I've had.   Very few have allowed me to blossom and grow and express my talents.....most have not.  My desire to create my own business is rooted in this.

This is one more step going home, which is truly within. 

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Inspiration

I am surrounded by the most amazing, supportive people.  Their motivation continuously sparks my inspiration (motivation from without, inspiration from within), especially at this time, when I’m in a transitional phase shifting from an employee mindset to one of creating my own business as a minister and life coach.

I am grateful for my husband, Sig; his loving support and belief in me inspires and allows me to focus on my business and on being creative, with no pressure.  Thank you for seeing me with loving eyes and heart and reminding me daily of all the talents and gifts I have to share with the world.  I appreciate you rooting for me as I step into this new chapter in my life.

I am so grateful for my son, Norman, who sees me as a champion and continuously reminds me of my power.  He also inspires me to persevere with healthy habits, reminding me consistently of the importance of exercise, healthy eating and staying active both mentally and physically.  Witnessing his own blossoming and healing process has been inspirational indeed.  Thank you Norm!!!

Then there are my daughters, Savi and Deborah, who also inspire me as they remind me always how important I am in their lives.  Thank you for teaching me through your own life experiences.  You are both strong, creative women who have reached incredible heights through focus and perseverance

Thank you Maia, my friend, coach, and teacher! I appreciate your words of wisdom and encouragement throughout the years.  You have always been a real support for me.  Your life is truly an inspiration and you have taught me so much!!!
 
I am truly blessed by you all.  Your presence, love and support motivate, inspire and uplift me.  I cannot overemphasize the importance of having supportive people who nurture your inspiration to become your very best self!
I love you!!!

Friday, January 27, 2017

Opening the Closet Door to My Feelings

On my ongoing journey to self-awareness and inner healing, I've learned that feelings need to be felt and acknowledged, shame has to be worked out and released, and guilt is a useless and self-defeating emotion.

In the past I had read about these concepts, yet, reading about them and working with them were two different things.

In the You University Life Coach Training program I learned one of the most in-depth exercises and tools for healing my inner child. It was about writing "my story".  It required I go back to the ages of 7, 14, 21 in stages of 7 years until the present and feel my feelings as if I was there at that time.

This process took me a while (there was a part of me resistant to this work), doing much probing and self-inquiry; it took courage and willingness to look at many painful, repressed memories.  Today I would compare this process to opening a closet door that's been closed for many years--a closet filled with a lot of "very old stuff", and finally going through the "stuff", choosing to keep only what is of value while letting go what doesn't serve anymore.

This process was very healing and I still use it whenever anxious or fearful thoughts and feelings spring up inside me.  I sit with my feelings, I observe them, and I can say:  "aaahhh, this thought is coming from that closet again" and simply, let it be.  I ask myself....is this thought really true? 

Opening that closed closet door and allowing the old stuff to come into the Light brings me to a peaceful inner state each and every time.  

Saturday, January 7, 2017

The Importance of Having A Caring Support System

Having a caring support system is priceless.

It's a true blessing to have one or two really good friends to confide in and be vulnerable with knowing you'll be heard, supported and not judged.

I have friends I can count on when experiencing challenges and feel  I need support or honest feedback.  Some are close by while others are thousands of miles away.  Yet, through the internet or phone we connect and nurture each other.

I am also blessed to be part of a wonderful online group whose members are YOU University life coaches; on our weekly calls we join to share what's going on in our outer and inner lives.  We support each other as we listen with an open heart and mind to happy, joyful and many times sad and painful events any of us may be experiencing.  At the end of each call we all feel empowered, relieved and connected.

Whether it's a close relative, friend, coach or support group, there are times we all need that loving support to hold our hand during a tough challenge or to celebrate our breakthroughs!


Monday, January 2, 2017

God Has Given Me Everything

God Has Given Me Everything!  What a statement!  This is what A Course in Miracles says about God and me and you!

The Course also states that I am everything and I have everything.  Yet this has not been my experience here in life.  It seems like I am always striving to get somewhere, to be something more and better than what I am because I'm not enough.

When I read these sentences a few days ago I had to stop and allow them to sink into my mind.  How can this concept be so alien to what I've lived so far?  How can I live from this new paradigm and allow myself to believe that I AM THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, that I AM EVERYTHING, that I HAVE EVERYTHING?  How does this look like in real life?

Let me imagine it for a moment:  I have everything and I am everything.  Hmmm....I have no needs, nothing can be taken away, I cannot lose anything, all is well and perfect just as it is.  No striving, no comparisons, no competition, NO FEAR!!!  NO LACK!!!  This also means that I am Love, Peace, Joy....I am just fine!  I can give to others of my time, my love, my abundance in all ways and the more I give the more of all this I experience.

Oh God, it feels joyful, peaceful, wonderful.

This is my intention now, to live out this principle as best as I can.  It will be a moment to moment choice as I meet Life in all its ways and challenges.  I will remember this is the truth of who I am and the truth also of everyone I meet, my friends, family, clients, strangers (and will ask my Higher Self for help when I seem to forget) .  God has given all to all of us.  God makes absolutely no exceptions. We are truly loved!