Sunday, December 25, 2016

I Forget

So many times I forget all the lessons learned on my life journey.  I let myself be bogged down by old thought patterns, fears and just plain complaining and victimhood.

I forget about wonderful spiritual tools that really work, because I've practiced them over and over in the past.  Yet I forget.

I forget what I learned from the Bible years ago that God always Is.  To be still and know He is God. He/She is above any perceived challenge or problem.  He is my Provider, my Strength....and that needs to be my focus.

I forget I learned in YOU University Life Coaching that life is a school and that in someway, at some level, I create my experiences and there is always a lesson in each one.

I forget that A Course in Miracles teaches me to practice, practice, practice forgiveness, to not see error, but to remember that I am always as God created me.  That I am holy, whole, complete, love, peace, not lacking anything.  And the same for my brothers and sisters all around me.  Again, when I lose this focus, I slip into fear and move away from my oneness with God.

Today, I remember.  Today I step into my true identity.  I am God's creation, I am one with Him, with All That Is.  How can I fear?  How can I lack?  I place my Inner Vision on these truths and affirm them over and over....and return to peace.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Job Searching and Virtual Business

Since arriving in Miami in 2006 I've been laid off from three different jobs.  All have been great work experiences and companies, but now I find myself job searching once more.

As an administrative professional, I've had the privilege of working at great companies, in diverse industries (pharmaceuticals, manufacturing, mining, insurance) and in several states, even countries.

From Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, to New York City, Dallas and now the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area, I've shared my unique talents, abilities and skills in such multi-nationals as Novartis, Gilead, and Johnson & Johnson subsidiary.  I've worn all kinds of hats, too.....secretary, administrative assistant, executive assistant, facilities coordinator, HR coordinator, technician, translator.  Yes.  All those.

For years, I've had a nudging desire to own my own business and be of service to several clients instead of working for one company as an employee.  Finally, in 2013, I registered my company, Virtual Parlor, Inc., and took that first step making it a reality. Since then, I've been giving form to my virtual business, but it's been a very slow process.  I've encountered lots of resistance (from within myself) taking courses, creating a website, a LinkedIn presence, contracts, identifying my niche and which services to offer; and while I now am applying to jobs consistently, selectively and with a positive attitude, the business wants to be born.

 I know being a business owner is not an easy endeavor, but it is very rewarding and presents a multitude of opportunities for growth, personally and professionally.

Life Coaching and spirituality are a true passion of mine.  In 2010 I graduated as a Life Coach and after two years of training, in 2014 I graduated from Pathways of Light as an ordained ministerial counselor.  I haven't dedicated much time to putting my services "out there", but I have had several coaching clients and also done spiritual workshops at a Unity Church and facilitated ministerial training in both English and Spanish.

I will continue to make this a reality even as I work at a job.  I am excited to see what doors God opens up for me.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

I Am Much Too Tolerant of Mind Wandering!!!

As a student of A Course in Miracles since 2007, I've done the workbook lessons a few times and have studied the text randomly on my own and in group settings also.

A few weeks ago I felt inspired to self-study the text, which I find is dense and sometimes difficult to understand what its message is for me.

I have my notebook, where I take notes as I go along of what each paragraph's message means to me. I do this asking my Higher Self to guide and reveal to me what I need to learn.

So, each morning now I spend about 20-30 minutes with the Course text; it's been quite enriching. It's become clearer how important it is to be aware of my thoughts and beliefs at any given moment.  I also realize how similar most spiritual teachings are at their core.

The Course states:  "The correction of fear is your responsibility.  When you ask for release from fear, you are implying that it is not."  Chapter 2, VI.4, and it also states:  "You are much too tolerant of mind wandering, and are passively condoning your mind's miscreations."  

Oh my.  Just these two statements feel so empowering to me.  I am responsible for my mind wandering and for correction of fear.

Now, I can start to think that this is too hard, or not possible, or that I should see immediate results, But even this is a mind trick.  I keep in mind that my old beliefs are deeply rooted and willingness and practice of these new concepts and principles will bring a new experience for me. A more joyful and real one.

I am never alone in my choice of perceiving a better way.  My Higher Wisdom is always within me.  I only need to ask.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

If I "Need" to Know the Outcome.....

When I "need" to know the outcome of a situation before moving forward or taking on a new endeavor or challenge, I'm not trusting my Inner Wisdom nor surrendering to Divine Guidance.

Needing to know how anything is going to turn out before I take a risk or make a decision confirms my desire to continue controlling outcomes, situations, relationships, and Life itself.

This hasn't worked out for me at all.  I've had a tendency to over-analyze and over-think everything before taking any steps, believing things have to be perfect and in place.  I have a fear of the unknown.  I want to control how things will turn out.  This has kept me stuck, resulting in losing out on wonderful challenges and hidden blessings.

I realize now that have no way of knowing or controlling how anything is going to turn out.  No confirmation or assurance.  I can only choose to trust.  Trust that all is as it needs to be and move forward.  Trust that I am taken care of!!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Continued Meditation

I have remained committed to my meditation practice for more than two weeks.  Once daily for now.

It's still challenging to remain focused on my breath.  The observer in me has gained some presence as I watch where my awareness goes while just sitting.  My intention is to be in the present moment....and I see what occurs in my mind; it is preoccupied with planning, doing, thinking and my body is tense.

As I become aware of this, I no longer label it as wrong or bad.  I simply observe it and come back to the breath.  My observer develops with each practice.  Mindfulness and no judgment on myself becomes my choice.  This is part of self-love and self-acceptance with what is.

I look forward to meditation now and connecting with myself in stillness.  

Friday, October 7, 2016


A few weeks ago I began a meditation practice.  I've been consistent at sitting on my mat, 20 minutes daily.  Several times in the past I've tried it but always strayed away and never got around to creating a conscious, consistent habit.  I'd skip it if I didn't feel I had the time, and if I did meditate, it was usually in a rush. 

I've not committed to meditating in the morning before starting my busy day.  I light a candle, do a healing prayer and I sit straight. I focus on my breath, in and out, deep breaths.  A few seconds into the practice, my mind wanders to planning ahead, to what I'm going to do as soon as I am through meditating, or it focuses on a conversation I need to have; without me even realizing it, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts all over the place have taken over my attention.  I forgot the breathing.  Ahhh, then I become aware and I return to the breath.

So far, this has been most of my meditation practice.  I am getting better at it, being consistent, noticing my thoughts, returning to the breath, and being still.

The purpose of my practice is to take time out from doing, doing, doing, and focus more on being in the present moment, quiet, going within, observing what's going on in my mind, and to be aware of what I'm believing and giving reality to.

What I learn and gain during my practice goes with me throughout the day.  Moment to moment I am becoming more aware of what thoughts, feelings and beliefs are at the forefront of my mind.  Giving more awareness to my observer helps me to choose better and healthier ways of allowing Life to be as it is.  I don't feel the need to be so much in control.  There seems to be more inner peace taking the place of all the mind chatter.  

Meditation is surely becoming a part of my life.  

Sunday, September 11, 2016

I Give My Feelings a Voice

I used to swallow my feelings, I didn't trust them or honor them, and because of self-doubt I would push them down.  I labeled my feelings as worthy or not.  I even compared myself to what I thought I saw others feelings.  What an illusion.

Today, I chose another route.  I now know that whatever is happening outside of me is coming from within me.  I am perceiving it a certain way from the basis of my belief system, and if it creates conflict, that conflict is inside of me.

An uncomfortable situation arose with someone I love deeply.  While I was in the moment, I felt hurt, angry, frustrated and wanted to lash out at them.  Instead, I chose to stay put, yet allowing myself to let them know that I was not ok with what was happening.

After the incident, many ego thoughts came rushing through my mind, like an avalanche of rocks and mud.  I observed these and understood they were coming up from old patterns of thought based on fear and I needed to address them.  I chose not to act upon them by running away, or coming from a place of judgment and separation.

I allowed the thoughts, I allowed the feelings.  I asked my Higher Self to guide me, and decided to come from a place of Love that resides within me (which does not mean I let the incident go or shoved down my feelings). This was an opportunity for me to express my feelings in a loving way, yet express them.  It was an opportunity to join with my loved one and look at the incident together. And we did.

We chose to connect from that loving, honest place we all have and voice our feelings with the intention to join and not separate. We are now closer and more aware because of it. Thank you to my Higher Self.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

When I'm 61....Oh That's Today!!

I love this blog.  I started it quite a few years ago and everything I have shared here has always come from my heart, my own experience and never trying to convince anyone or sell anything.  
So, I do the same today.  I feel I want to post where I'm at on this beautiful day, my 61st birthday.
I don't feel 61 and I don't look it.  It's really just a number that's either self-imposed or society imposed.  So, moving on....

I'm at a really good place in my life.  I am learning to be grateful and appreciative just because.  Yes, I have so many blessings and so many "things" to be grateful for.  But those things can be taken away or leave.  So, gratitude for me is being joyful just because.  I've learned this just recently.  All my states of happiness in the past were attached to something or someone outside myself.

How freeing it is for me to finally begin understanding and enjoying the realization that God/Love/Freedom/Heaven is inside of me and that this journey called Life is really about discovering that Truth.  And then living it, moment to moment.  It's a practice you know.  It doesn't come naturally at first, since I've been programmed by everything including myself to believe otherwise.
So, as I drive, or walk, or work, I choose to look at the trees, breathe in Nature, give the best of me to all that I am doing.  And it feels really good.

All that said, I am also so grateful for all that I have lived, all that I am, and all the wonderful people and experiences I have had in my life.  I have these three wonderful beings that are my children.  They are unique and strong and powerful and being their own expression of themselves.  I honor the experience of having been born and raised in that wonderful, high-energy and incredible city that is New York. As they say, once a New Yorker, always a New Yorker.  Then stepping into the ocean of a new culture such as the Dominican Republic, where I lived for 30 years and learned so much about life there.  That was a real challenge.

I've been blessed with really good friends, unique lovers, good and not so good bosses and workplaces.  But all part of my journey.  I became a life coach and even a minister in these later years. And am proud of it!

I feel as if I am starting on a new journey unknown one.  I don't know what is coming, but I know it is really good.  I am open, willing and grateful.  Thank you God!!!

Saturday, February 13, 2016

My Journey: From Religious to Spiritual

This morning, during my devotional, quiet time, I thought back to when I was so involved in a religious movement.  I was very committed to being the best "follower" I could be.  I read and did my best to understand the Bible and also have a deep relationship with God.

All that was fine and dandy....but I also remember how so much of the doctrine I was being fed did not resonate with my deep feelings.  I remember now how I did not connect to or even truly believe much of what was taught to me, although I meekly obeyed.  I allowed myself to be brainwashed into following beliefs I didn't really believe.  

I remember how it was preached in church that dancing and music (except worship music) was not of God, also celebrating Christmas was a pagan thing.  Oh, and divorce was a complete no-no, so us women needed to trust Jesus and He would change our infidel husbands. Even very short haircuts in women was shunned upon.  Oh, and yoga?  No way.  

Somehow, none of this seemed realistic or even loving to me.  But I followed it with a deep desire to truly be accepted in God's eyes.  

Well, inside me was always the love of dancing and for all kinds of music, I adored Christmas decorations and the whole holiday spirit, I felt that having very short hair did not separate me from God in any way,  And, eventually, I did get a divorce. 

In time, I began to open up to other spiritual teachings and realized that God is in everything.  God is not out to get me,  I began to heal from a deep sense of guilt and shame.  God isn't judging me.  God is Love.  Period.  It took a while, and it's been a journey. 

Today, I still value many of the lessons I learned on that religious journey, and I know, for me, that the Bible has many wise teachings, as long as I don't turn them into a judgmental doctrine.  God is about life and love and also about remembering who I truly am.  I am one with God.  I have God's attributes, and this Truth has been covered up by so much false programming. 
That is where I am now.  Going back home, within, releasing the old, self-defeating beliefs.  

Today, I am a much happier, focused woman.  I am open to being guided from within instead of from without.  I allow myself to feel my feelings without feeling guilty should they not be "good".  I attract like-minded people into my life and much of the past drama has just faded away.  Amen!!