My mentor and I were having a phone conversation a few days ago and we touched on the subject of child abuse and molestation.
I believe there's a part of our emotional self that remains at the age we were molested or abused, until somewhere in our lives we decide to heal that part of us. We somehow continue reenacting these unresolved issues in our relationships with other people.
It's unfortunate that many people go through their lives, all the way into adulthood and many even into old age, never telling anyone or even themselves that they carry this pain around. They suffer and many times create suffering for those they love because of unresolved childhood issues.
It takes a lot of self love and courage to do this work; we need to lovingly face our shame and release any guilt we may hold (from the false belief that we were responsible for the abuse).
Some may acknowledge that they've been abused and go through life blaming and accusing the one who did this to them. They are filled with resentment, anger and frustration. These may then turn into depression and anxiety. But they don't take the step further to free themselves of these toxic feelings. Forgiving ourselves and the molester or abuser is an important step in healing.
Once we decide we want to heal, it's best to experience this process with the support of a counselor or a life coach. It can be extremely scary to go back to that event in our lives, and we may want someone to hold our emotional space while we go through this. But the rewards are priceless.