Tuesday, June 11, 2019

My Love for my Adult Children

I just spent 5 days in Mexico City visiting my daughter and granddaughter. We had not spent quality time since they moved there June of last year (2018); and quality time it was. And fun!!!
But being a mom hasn't always been fun nor easy.
I remember my own mother. She did her very best to raise me well, but her narcissistic characteristics made her unstable mentally and emotionally and very difficult to get along with (and to please);I grew up feeling emotionally alone all through my childhood and teen years. By 20 I was married.
As a mother myself, I was determined to do my best to be a better and more conscious parent for my children than my mother was for me. I tried to be really present and supportive for my 3 children. Even so, I made so many mistakes. I was not abusive with my children (as my mother was) but their father was abusive with me and I allowed them to be exposed to years of conflict, fighting and to a toxic home environment.
I realize that parenting is one of the most difficult yet rewarding projects we can take on in life! It’s a huge responsibility, and most of us are not equipped with the wisdom, patience, and emotional health required to guide our children in the best of ways. But as we become more aware of our deficiencies, we can choose to work on healing our own inner child and become better parents.
Today, my relationship with my adult children is open, loving and enjoyable. Through the years we’ve had many difficult yet healing conversations, where they were able to express their feelings, resentments and frustration. It was hard to listen, but so worth it. I am very grateful.

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