I learned through general knowledge (and religion) that forgiveness was a godly trait, and as a “good person” I “should” forgive those that wronged me. That seemed easy enough….but it wasn’t.
I was willing to forgive but I still felt the hurt and resentful feelings. I had no idea what to do about them except stuff them inside of me. Of course, they would surface in passive ways and create rifts in my relationships.
Once I started the YOU University work, forgiveness was presented in whole other way. I remember how sweet in my heart it felt to read: Forgiveness means to GIVE LOVE AS BEFORE. Yes, I wanted to experience that.
I found healing as I did the work of first acknowledging and honoring my feelings towards those that I believed had hurt me, and then I used the written tools learned in the program to process and express them.
But I admit I felt resistance in the process because I wanted retribution, I wanted to continue feeling like a victim. But more than anything I needed to heal….so I wrote many love letters to those I had believed had wronged me in the past. This allowed me to reach the love and/or understanding that was in my heart for myself and the other person.....and peace.
Today, when I forgive, I acknowledge my feelings first and then I do my best to understand the other person’s situation. I do this process with the help of my Higher Self (It helps me see the bigger picture) and sometimes I talk it over with a friend indeed and or write a love letter.
My understanding of true forgiveness is even deeper now as I learn through my practice of the principles in A Course in Miracles that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know. That they cannot hurt my True Being because it is invulnerable. I am not perfect, I am a work in progress; but the more I forgive, the closer I am to reaching my True Being, that state of love, peace and joy.