Sunday, August 22, 2010

Tools for Releasing Worry

My mood is very affected by my thoughts and beliefs. Worry is a bad habit I've had all my life. I inherited it, from my parents, the news, coworkers, etc.
I know now these thought patterns led me right into anxiety, panic attacks, and then depression.
Today, it's a different story. A shift happened within me. I learned that worry is about control and control is about fear. What I was most afraid of, what caused me the most anxiety, you know what it was? Myself. I have been afraid of trusting myself. If I can't trust myself, which is where I AM, then I live in constant fear. I would search outside myself for validation and security, and I wanted others to tell me what I should do. I had such a hard time making decisions for myself.
Worry is a hard habit to break. The shift has been a process. First and most important was knowing, really knowing, that God is always with me, within me. I shifted from seeing God as condemning and aloof, to God within me, accepting me just as I am.
Second, accepting myself JUST AS I AM. I faced shame-based beliefs I had about myself and worked with them instead of suppressing them. I understood that I am unique and important to the greater whole (purpose). I have given myself permission to feel feelings that were lost inside of me for years. I have faced my fears and seen them as just a part of me that I need to work with and not against.
Third, give myself permission to walk my own path. I asked myself, what do I want? What makes me feel whole and alive?
This shift did not happen automatically, nor on its own. I was willing to do the work. No more excuses. I wanted once and for all to feel alive and be Me. I did the work, and am still going strong at it. This is a moment to moment event. Life. It's always changing, I'm always learning, and this results in my growth and expansion.
There is no one thing that got me to this place. A combination of life tools I've learned and applied. These have been the most life changing:
--My relationship with God
--Religion (the Bible) then spirituality (A Course in Miracles, Zen, Reiki), yes, there's a difference
--Many, many, many self-help books and using the tools in them
--Prayer, affirmations, meditation
--Ongoing exercise
--Very good friends, the kind that support you and love you for who you are, and tell you the frieking truth (I have a few of these, plus my coaching support group)
--A life coach, one that is committed to your growth and is honest and that I relate to. I cannot relate to someone who just sits and listens. I need relationship. I need to know that the coach has been there, done that. For me this is important.
--I did and am doing the healing work. I have taken the challenge to resolve my past issues and move forward. (You University Program)
As a result of the above, a shift in perception has resulted. I see everything as an opportunity to learn about myself. I realize I'm not a victim. I've always had the power to choose. I am responsible.
It feels soooo good.


Crystal said...

As a friend of yours, I want you to know that I can feel your energy. Because you feel good, it feels good to be in your presence (even virtually). This shift you have made is powerful and contagious!

Michael Ten said...

yep; a course in miracles says:

"you dont not have to worry about what to say or do..."


"you need do nothing" ...


Michael Ten said...

*do not have to worry about...